How PositiveFaith Sustains Me
How PositiveFaith Sustains Me
By Tyrone Allee
My name is Tyrone, and I was diagnosed in the mid-90s. My journey, like many, started with seeking understanding and support.
After my diagnosis, I, like most, desperately sought the embrace of others who shared my condition. I ventured into numerous HIV support groups of the time. Though I earnestly tried to find my place among them, returning time and again, I never quite found that sense of belonging.
Navigating through these agencies, I sensed an entrenched power structure. It felt as if those of us living with HIV were on the bottom rung. Above us were the staff, then their managers, all dutifully recording and reporting about us to their higher-ups. This disheartening hierarchy often gave off the vibe of, “We are doing something for you,” which frankly felt patronising. I yearned for understanding, but how could I find it when many of the workers hadn’t experienced what it meant to live with HIV? More glaringly, the lack of diversity was evident; it was hard to spot faces that looked like mine.
There were individuals, fellow PLWH (People Living with HIV), who touched my life positively, but overall, the landscape felt sterile. Too often, I felt boxed into the role of either a patient or, worse, a victim. I didn’t feel safe or understood. What I longed for was a peer support group steered by individuals who truly knew what living with HIV felt like.
Feeling isolated, I retreated, coping as best as I could on my own.
Then, a glimmer of hope came unexpectedly. On a day I decided to attend the Gay Pride March, amidst the sea of diverse LGBTQ groups, I spotted a T-shirt that intrigued me. Emblazoned with the words ‘POSITIVE CATHOLICS’ and the iconic Red Ribbon, it stood out like a beacon. Raised a Catholic and acutely aware of the Church’s stance on homosexuality, I was curious. Who were these people?
To my surprise, they were the embodiment of everything I had been searching for. In the midst of the bustling parade, here were people who resonated with my experiences of being Catholic, HIV positive, gay, and a person of colour. Intrigued, I approached them. They introduced themselves as a gathering of PLWH who convened for prayer, discussion, and friendship. Without hesitation, I accepted their invitation to their next meet.
My first attendance at a PositiveFaith peer support meeting was transformative. About 15 people sat in a warm, embracing circle. The group was diverse – in gender, sexuality, and faith. The shared camaraderie was palpable, and the respect, genuine. We shared our stories, read scripture, prayed, and broke bread. The environment was both gentle and powerful, and I felt a deep sense of belonging.
Years have passed, but the group, now known as PositiveFaith London, remains a constant in my life. It’s a haven where I feel energised and affirmed. The friendships I’ve forged here are invaluable, and the sense of community, unparalleled.
Being part of this community redefined my purpose. From leading group meetings to becoming a Trustee of the Charity, I’ve grown immensely. Addressing the loneliness faced by many gay men, we recently initiated a monthly group for Gay men living with HIV. While we don’t delve into scripture or prayer in this space, we share, listen, and respect each other’s experiences.
PositiveFaith has reconnected me with my faith, reminding me of the essence of Christianity. Today, I sometimes identify as a “born again Catholic.” Yet, it’s essential to acknowledge that for many, the bond of friendship and companionship transcends religious affiliations. We have members from diverse faiths and those indifferent to religion. But at the core, we’re bound by mutual acceptance and support.
Our mantra is simple: We accept each person living with HIV as they are. We believe in mutual respect, support, and the power of giving and receiving.